Justice League

Superhero fatigue, eh?

Debate is a pillar of society. Whilst the old adage of opinions being like arseholes is totally true, our passions, thoughts and instincts make us who we are.

It’s not just those in the spotlight anymore though, you can’t eat out, travel or shop without someone already having passed judgement; everyone’s livelihood is up for review.

The notion of walking into a cinema, switching your brain off and mindlessly enjoying the spectacle is not an alien concept. It has its place and suits a large proportion of movie-goers.

Articulated thought on art, however old-fashioned a concept, still has to have its place though. Critics aren’t to just be intrinsically believed but the notion of the Cultural Gatekeeper is essential. We should consume art because it’s worth something and created with passion and care, not merely because it’s being sold to us.

Many years from now film, music and photography will be upheld with literature, theatre and paintings. Our modern methods and trappings have as much cultural value.

So, why all this hoopla about a mere superhero movie, I hear you ask? Surely these pariahs of action fit firmly into the ‘switch brain off’ category?

Whilst a valid point, the comparison should be made to anything you feel passionate about. If your football team loses a match, you’re disappointed. If your favourite band releases a poor album, you’re disappointed. DC have, yet again, released a poor movie and they should be called out for doing so.

Justice League is an infuriating, aggravating, cynical and lazy cash-in which does nothing but rub their already fractured reputation further in the dust.

The accusations of playing catch up, and not taking their time, are well worn now so don’t bear repeating but this cannot continue happening. There seems to be a curse around every project they attempt. Suicide Squad and Batman vs. Superman had their well-publicised teething issues and in-house disputes and Justice League is no different with Zack Snyder and Joss Whedon both taking charge at different points in development.

Putting these characters on screen together is something long overdue but, without the legwork required to make this work, and a remarkably small running time (just two hours) it never stood a chance.

Let’s talk positives first though; DC have a proportion of their styling down-pat. The Gotham streets and slightly blurred, comic book edges (a la the fantastic Gotham TV series) are present and correct and I’ve come round on the new Batsuit; it looks ace here.

Wonder Woman, the shining light as far as the DCEU is concerned thus far, is again the best character and Ezra Miller’s Flash is a nice addition; quipping and just generally being a dorky fan which juxtaposes nicely (although both X-Men and Age Of Ultron’s depictions of Quicksilver beat DC to the slow-motion punch.)

There’s also a fair amount of beautiful hero shots; the types bedroom walls are made of. Hokey and unnecessary as they are, they have the same effect as the pan across the heroes in Civil War’s airport scene; a little hair-raising spine tingle seeing these characters on a screen (see in IMAX for the full effect.) There’s also some nice musical touches as well, incorporating songs to good effect.

BUT.

We again run immediately into plot issues. Like Suicide Squad, we open well. Just merely spending time with characters as good as these will never be a bad thing but put them into a cohesive plot and it all unravels.

I won’t be alone in being completely fed up with the introduction of an ‘all powerful’ villain with a completely arbitrary, non-explained skill set, a couple of Macguffins which need to be obtained before said villain gets into a position to ‘end the world as we know it’ and a whole army of alien cannon-fodder to be thwacked and kapow-ed around by our heroes.

This outdated principle of how a superhero movie ‘should work’ is just lazy, cynical film-making. Whilst ‘Bat-fleck’ has had his share of criticism, I’m actually a fan of the wizened, greying, slightly beaten Batman similar to the immortal Dark Knight Returns story-line. However, that long-mooted, solo Batman movie is an essential cornerstone to continuing with this iteration of the character as he just looks lost here amidst the aliens and heroes able to leap over buildings (at one point we even see him running to catch up with his fellow Justice Leaguers and missing a part of the fight.)

Aquaman looks the part but is reduced to single utterances of “my man” and “I dig it” whilst Cyborg doesn’t quite look the part (DC’s stodgy CGI rears its ugly head again) and doesn’t get quite enough time to charm despite having a more meaty and interesting backstory.

Superman [SLIGHT SPOILER] returns but an intriguing, Civil War-esque team fight quickly fizzles out and he’s back to standard heroism again before you can say 'Lois Lane.'

What I can’t quite fathom is the point of the whole thing. If the harking back to old-style super-heroism is designed to foil Marvel and stake a claim that their genre diversification is wrong, why copy everything they’ve done (there’s even post-credits scenes here for chrissakes!) If they’re trying to keep the moodiness, but throw in a little light, don’t release a film without a single laugh-out-loud moment (inexcusable after Ragnarok.) If you want to jump to a ‘Phase 3’ style of films immediately, set the scene first (or at least go off previous DC canon like Nolan’s trilogy.)

DC can’t keep throwing every chip on the table and gambling away to keep pace with Marvel. In this fictional competition (superhero fans like both brands) putting everything on black will occasionally come in (Wonder Woman) but equally lead to losing everything like it does here.

Learn the lesson DC: when the fun stops, stop.

2 stars **