Venom

Sony come wading back into superhero waters despite losing their prized asset in what can only be described as an ill-conceived, petty rebuke to Marvel for setting the benchmark for Spider-Man.

Venom is the first drop in a ‘new universe’ of Spidey friends and foes but would do well to earn itself a sequel as it’s a lazy and derivative example of superhero cliché delivered about ten years too late.

Bloated and by-the-numbers origin set up? Check. A total lack of screen time for a romantic interest who leaves and ‘maybe’ comes back by the end? Check. An eye-wateringly impossible-to-decipher CGI mess of a climactic battle scene? CHECK CHECK CHECK.

It’s such a shame that Sony have blown their load with such a poor attempt at such an awesome character. You’d expect better from Director Ruben Fleischer, whose Zombieland was the perfect blend of substance and style with laughs and gore but Venom falls flat in both regards.

You’d think, with a ‘horror-esque’ anti-hero/villain character, that the violence would be dialled up and the scares doubled but, despite an abundance of bad language, the combat is horribly watered down and family friendly.

Riz Ahmed, normally so reliable, is laboured with by-the-numbers 'evil scientist villain' lines that may as well come out of an automated mid-noughties superhero line generator.

Comedy should always seamlessly fit into the Spider universe but a lot of the scripting falls flat with some truly risible one-liners where you half expect a ‘boom-tish’ drum sound.

Granted, there’s a couple of good jokes mainly delivered by Venom’s inner voice, Tom Hardy again forming a great rapport with himself much as he did in the fantastic Legend.

Hardy is the saving grace here you won’t be surprised to hear. Finally earning more headline roles this seemed the perfect foil for him getting to play the wisecracking anti-hero rather than a Stars-and-Stripes super. He has charisma to spare and holds attention throughout but his Eddie Brock, whilst vastly superior to the horrible portrayal in Spider-Man 3, just doesn’t feel deep enough to hold the fort in a comic book universe. He spends most of his time sweating and stumbling around in a drunken stupor and his on-off relationship with Michelle Williams’ Anne doesn’t feel quite right.

Dare I say it but I actually think the Venom character himself did look aesthetically better in the much-maligned Spidey 3 and the less said about Eminem’s ‘theme’ song, the better.

Venom simply doesn’t do Venom justice. For a supposedly ‘anti-superhero’ film (so the marketing would have you believe) it feels rushed and safe. In the MCU age we know it pays to take risks with comic book films and this doesn’t take any. It’s a victim of circumstance more than anything as ten years ago it would have looked like a masterstroke.

It’s a shame as there are hints at brilliance; the character himself is a top-shelfer, a post-credits sting with a SPOILER hint to a Carnage appearance and Mr Hardy of course but Venom is another pointless and tiny needle in the superhero haystack.

2 stars **