Murder on the Orient Express

The Titanic sinks. Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's Father. ET returns home.

Endings ingrained in popular culture, but not at all damaging to the films in which they occur. The same, unfortunately, is not true of the latest adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express.

Agatha Christie’s classic tale has been read, retold and adapted countless times and was rife for another big screen version.

Kenneth Branagh’s 2017 vintage is a faithful translation but doesn’t quite add the bells and whistles flourish it needs to stand out in the modern era of IMAX screens and 4DX.

This is no sleight on the material. Christie’s novel is still peerless but, as wizened modern viewers, expectations were high for Branagh to deliver the ultimate version of this classic tale.

The trailer began to evidence this with its Cluedo-esque character introductions and striking blue text but these features are not present in the film itself.

There is some lovely cinematography and Branagh excels with long takes, top down perspectives and impossible-seeming camera sweeps in tight confinement, but the story feels a little brisk.

Murder on the Orient Express is a puzzle and the joy comes from uncovering the evidence, following Poirot’s intuition, building an image in your head of how the murder was committed before the ending comes along to topple your house of cards.

The true ending is hinted at so early here that any semblance of suspense and tension is completely nullified.

What also feels brisk is the amount of time we get to spend with each character.

Of course, as is his wont, Branagh leads proceedings and does so very well with a good Poirot accent and an even more impressive moustache.

He gives lip service (boom) to the character with the hint of a sequel on the cards (a closing comment about a 'murder on the Nile') but isn't able to offer the same screen time to his quite incredible supporting cast.

The cast list here is truly astonishing. A-list talent abounds but they don’t all get enough wiggle room to express their multitude of talent.

Johnny Depp is at his sneering best as Ratchet before, inevitably, he’s killed off which is a crying shame and Josh Gad plays against type as a failed lawyer turned gangster, but the rest are given fleeting moments to shine before the destination reveals itself faster than a bullet train.

It’s a great tale well told but feels slight given the potential this project had.

Less the greatest detective and more 'elementary.'

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