They Will Kill You
- 4 hours ago
- 2 min read
What you want from a film at any given time can vary massively.
A flowing and moving story filled with awards-worthy performances of course is great but sometimes you might just want to laugh, to wince, to switch your brain off or to be frozen with fear.
They Will Kill You can offer a little of all of that. An absolutely gonzo blast of mayhem with only a mind to distract and to entertain.
As Zazie Beetz’ Asia Reaves walks into the Virgil, a mysterious John Wick-esque quasi-hotel for the rich, we soon learn that many of its inhabitants are immortal Satanists sworn to make a sacrifice to keep their power.
Cue a hacking and slashing, utterly ridiculous, ever-escalating in mayhem film of chases and fight scenes which, because of its simple story and Kill Bill-aping flashbacks, is brilliant fun.
Its debt to Kill Bill is as large as its villains' debt to their dark master and it copies much of the camerawork, the gratuitous blood, the katanas and the aforementioned flashbacks.
Of course, it doesn’t come close to that masterpiece from QT but it’s fun to see the homage and enjoy the silliness.
The cast is stacked with plenty of famous faces largely drawn from the TV world (as well as a criminally underused Tom Felton) and they’re all having immense fun. Beetz has always clearly been a leading star and takes her chance here to hopefully front more films in the future.
Is it a ‘good’ film? Well, that’s not really the point. This is a b-movie delight giving you all the beheading, blood splattering, wincing violence you sometimes want from a gnarly trip to the cinema. Remove your brain and enjoy.
⭐️⭐️⭐️

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